Time for a joke
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Time for a joke
Two guys from Canberra die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"
Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."
The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"
This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/
I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"
Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."
The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"
This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/
I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
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- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
Get off the stage!
Re: Time for a joke
We are Canberrans.
Not Canberrians.
Not Canberrians.
Re: Time for a joke
And there's GE demonstrating his well renowned sense of him our once again!
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- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
Average at best...cholztrad wrote:Two guys from Canberra die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"
Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."
The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"
This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/
I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
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- Don Furner
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Re: Time for a joke
Was there a joke there somewhere?
Re: Time for a joke
Don't know what thread to put this in. But this is what happens when the PR department drink all night then submit ideas.
Re: Time for a joke
As opposed to holding it in your hand?
Re: Time for a joke
Wonder how many people are attempting to use them differently.Schifty wrote:Don't know what thread to put this in. But this is what happens when the PR department drink all night then submit ideas.
I bow down to thee oh great Nickman, the wisest of the wise, your political adroitness is unsurpassed, your sagacity is unmatched, your wisdom shines through on this forum amongst us mere mortals as bright as your scalp under the light of a full moon, never shall I doubt your analytical prowess again. You are my hero, my lord, my savior, may you accept my offerings so you continue to bless us with your genius.
- reptar
- Laurie Daley
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Re: Time for a joke
You certainly couldn't use it the way depicted. Chiko rolls don't look like that!
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
Re: Time for a joke
Was on matty johns show monday nightManbush wrote:Wonder how many people are attempting to use them differently.Schifty wrote:Don't know what thread to put this in. But this is what happens when the PR department drink all night then submit ideas.
Edrick The Entertainer
Re: Time for a joke
You know when a joke is prefaced with "if you don't laugh at this you're **** ****", the joke is going to be very ordinary.-PJ- wrote:Average at best...cholztrad wrote:Two guys from Canberra die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"
Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Canberra, the land of snow and Campo. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."
The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canberra and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canberrians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Canberra, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 blokes from Canberra. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Canberrians look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean... The Raiders Won The Grand Final!"
This isn't my joke.. I read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments ... p_in_hell/
I had a laugh and thought it could work with the Raiders as well.
- El_Capitano
- Brett Mullins
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Time for a joke
Nup Canberrians sounds better! Change approved!greeneyed wrote:We are Canberrans.
Not Canberrians.
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How soon IS now?
Re: Time for a joke
Went out with a woman the other night who told me she wanted to be treated like a princess, so I put her in a Mercedes and drove her into a cement wall.
I bow down to thee oh great Nickman, the wisest of the wise, your political adroitness is unsurpassed, your sagacity is unmatched, your wisdom shines through on this forum amongst us mere mortals as bright as your scalp under the light of a full moon, never shall I doubt your analytical prowess again. You are my hero, my lord, my savior, may you accept my offerings so you continue to bless us with your genius.
- Manchild
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Re: Time for a joke
Two peanuts walk down the street.
One was a salted.
One was a salted.
Re: Time for a joke
That's my go to Manchild, can't believe you got in first
- reptar
- Laurie Daley
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Re: Time for a joke
My dog has no nose
How does he smell?
Terrible!
How does he smell?
Terrible!
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
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- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
Does the MRC/Judiciary qualify for this thread ?
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- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
Fixedreptar wrote:My dog has no nose
How does he smell?
He can't... he doesn't have a nose!!
- Manchild
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Re: Time for a joke
A man walks into a zoo....The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog........it's a ****.
- reptar
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Re: Time for a joke
Manchild wrote:A man walks into a zoo....The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog........it's a ****.
ge going overboard and swear filtering breeds of dogs?!? I can't say I abide by this anti-dog behaviour!
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
- Manchild
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Re: Time for a joke
****!!! Seriously??? This **** place.
- reptar
- Laurie Daley
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Re: Time for a joke
Haha. I liked the joke.
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
- Sid
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Re: Time for a joke
That joke is better with the filter
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Would have won Boogs - 2016, 2017, 2018
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1 part green, 1 part machine
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- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
You wait... somehow this will be my fault.Manchild wrote:****!!! Seriously??? This **** place.
- Manchild
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Re: Time for a joke
I can't believe you edited my joke you jerk.The Nickman wrote:You wait... somehow this will be my fault.Manchild wrote:****!!! Seriously??? This **** place.
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- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
Hahaha the edit actually makes your joke seem quite offensive.
- reptar
- Laurie Daley
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Re: Time for a joke
It reminded me of Fawlty Towers.The Nickman wrote:Hahaha the edit actually makes your joke seem quite offensive.
Gina Riley: Oh, come on, John. That’s a bit old hat, the corrupt IOC delegate.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
John Clarke: Old hat? Gina, in the scientific world when they see that something is happening again and again and again, repeatedly, they don’t call it old hat. They call it a pattern.
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
I walked past Hunter Stadium yesterday and was offered a 3yr contract...
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- Manchild
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Re: Time for a joke
Sad thing is that probably isn't a joke.-PJ- wrote:I walked past Hunter Stadium yesterday and was offered a 3yr contract...
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Re: Time for a joke
I heard a good one last night. What do you get when you cross Damien Keogh with John Hopoate?
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Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.
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Re: Time for a joke
Donald Trump was in Sydney visiting a primary school. He was talking to a class of 6yr olds. They were having a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”.
One little boy stood up and offered: “ If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
No, said Donald. “ that would be an accident”
A little girl raised her hand: “ if a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy”
“I’m afraid not,” explained Donald. “ Thats what we call a great loss”
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Donald searched the room.
“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy ?”
Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath. Johnny says: If the plane carrying you was shot down by friendly fire and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.
“Fantastic” exclaimed Donald. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy ?
“Well”, says Johnny. “ It has to be a tragedy because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and you can bet you’re sweet **** it wouldn’t be an accident either.
The teacher asked Mr Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”.
One little boy stood up and offered: “ If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
No, said Donald. “ that would be an accident”
A little girl raised her hand: “ if a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy”
“I’m afraid not,” explained Donald. “ Thats what we call a great loss”
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Donald searched the room.
“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy ?”
Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath. Johnny says: If the plane carrying you was shot down by friendly fire and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.
“Fantastic” exclaimed Donald. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy ?
“Well”, says Johnny. “ It has to be a tragedy because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and you can bet you’re sweet **** it wouldn’t be an accident either.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
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Re: Time for a joke
The sad thing is the Raiders are still a funnier joke than this thread.
- -PJ-
- Mal Meninga
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Re: Time for a joke
A reporter asked former Eels great Peter Sterling if his early 80s side would beat the current day Panthers or Storm.
“Absolutely” said Sterlo.
“ By how many points ?” asked the reporter.
“2 to 4” said Sterlo.
“ Why so few points ?” asked the reporter.
“Well, most of us are 70” said Sterlo.
“Absolutely” said Sterlo.
“ By how many points ?” asked the reporter.
“2 to 4” said Sterlo.
“ Why so few points ?” asked the reporter.
“Well, most of us are 70” said Sterlo.
3rd Battalion Royal Australian Regiment..Old Faithful
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- dubby
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Re: Time for a joke
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The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.