Depression and mental health

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FuiFui BradBrad
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

My new team is big on mental health and well-being. We’ve had to make a well-being pledge for February. I’ve committed to reduce my screen time, after seeing I was spending nearly 3hrs a day looking at my phone.
I’ve got my daily average down to an hour. PB being 45mins. Finding alternatives to the mindless scrolling I used to do.
I have to say, I’m feeling a difference in myself. I’m not sure if it’s the new job/new team, the screen time or both, but I’m definitely feeling refreshed and less distant.


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dubby
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

Fui, screen time is damaging.

Invest it into mrs Fui, Mac and Cheese. You'll be even happier, which will be awesome for the GH.

Screen time in excess is not good.

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The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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FuiFui BradBrad
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

dubby wrote:Fui, screen time is damaging.

Invest it into mrs Fui, Mac and Cheese. You'll be even happier, which will be awesome for the GH.

Screen time in excess is not good.

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Yeah I was shocked when I saw how much time I was spending on the phone. I really feel I notice the difference. I’ve replaced that time with listening to podcasts, taking Mack and Cheese out for walks, and just being more active.
It’s been such an eye opener
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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dubby
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

It's pretty confronting hey

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The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by Coastalraider »

I’m struggling a bit with my mental health over the last couple of months, and one change I made over Christmas was to get the phone away more often. I wasn’t present in so many situations, even when I was there.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

Coastal, you pm me if you're down ok?

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The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by Coastalraider »

Cheers Dubs, I appreciate it. Just a bit challenging at the moment. Got good family support, and sorting out some professional advice as well.
I’ve been to the edge before so this time I noticed some early signs, and am getting onto it quickly.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

I've had a very difficult year.

My marriage ended in Feb. She struggled with me and my mental health issues. I don't blame her for going.

But it filled me with angst and uncertainty. What was I going to do now? I'm in a job in not passionate about in a city I don't care for.

Then I reconnected with an old flame I knew back in Leeton back in the day. We started a relationship which was challenging as I'm in Syd and she's on the Sunny Coast.

But we made it work by catching up every 2 weeks. I really love this woman. She made me feel incredible.

We had our moments as all couples do, but we sorted it out. Then something big. But we made it work. I was going to move in with her and start a new life together.

Then covid bubble. Then, she changed. Yesterday she broke it off.

I've no idea what to do. I'm alone. Locked in a small room under isolation. I can't even go out to Leeton to see my nan.

My life has changed completely. I'm not even sure what to do with this. There is nothing I can do.



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The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by T_R »

I'll give you a call, Dubs

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Son, we live in a world that has forums, and those forums have to be guarded by Mods. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Nickman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Lucy, and you curse GE. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that GE’s moderation, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, keeps threads on track and under the appropriately sized, highlighted green headings.
You want moderation because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that forum -- you need me on that forum. We use words like "stay on topic," "use the appropriate forum," "please delete." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very moderation that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you get a green handle and edit a post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think about moderation.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

So sorry to hear mate. I’m a message away if you want to talk.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by gerg »

Take it easy dubby.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by Azza »

dubby wrote: July 27, 2021, 9:19 pm
But we made it work by catching up every 2 weeks. I really love this woman. She made me feel incredible.

We had our moments as all couples do, but we sorted it out. Then something big. But we made it work. I was going to move in with her and start a new life together.

Then covid bubble. Then, she changed. Yesterday she broke it off.

I've no idea what to do. I'm alone. Locked in a small room under isolation. I can't even go out to Leeton to see my nan.

My life has changed completely. I'm not even sure what to do with this. There is nothing I can do.



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Sorry to hear dubby. You probably saw I went through a similar experience coming out of my first relationship after the lockdown in Sydney over xmas. 2 weeks and she completely changed. It's very distressing but is often more to do with them than you.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by Scared Hitless »

Really sorry to hear, Dubby. As mentioned on a previous thread, having been through similiar struggles myself, I empathise completely with anyone who is struggling and going through a rough time.

Make sure you reach out to mates and family as much as possible. Myself and all my mates who have had their own mental health struggles always voice their regret in not having opened up sooner once they see how common it is and how supportive everyone around them can be.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by bonehead »

everything for a reason Dubs, see what tomorrow brings then the next day. You'll see more clearly mate

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FuiFui BradBrad
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Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

bonehead wrote:everything for a reason Dubs, see what tomorrow brings then the next day. You'll see more clearly mate

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I heard a really good quote yesterday “Sunshine all the time makes a desert.”

Things will get better and be clearer with time. Hang in there Dubs, and get out of my dreams!

Also, if your on LinkedIn or Insta, follow Mark Manson. Everyday he provides really good insights and advice on life. I have felt improvements to myself just reading his pieces of wisdom each day.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

Thanks boys.

And a huge thanks to TR.

His support and kind words really helped.

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The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by T_R »

dubby wrote:Thanks boys.

And a huge thanks to TR.

His support and kind words really helped.

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Nice to catch up, old mate

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Image

Son, we live in a world that has forums, and those forums have to be guarded by Mods. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Nickman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Lucy, and you curse GE. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that GE’s moderation, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, keeps threads on track and under the appropriately sized, highlighted green headings.
You want moderation because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that forum -- you need me on that forum. We use words like "stay on topic," "use the appropriate forum," "please delete." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very moderation that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you get a green handle and edit a post. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think about moderation.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

Another night full of heartache
They just don't want to let us be
Nothing much except outcast love
But it's enough for me
It's enough for me
I won't let them keep us apart
'Cause love can't be bound by chains
They might come for us in the dark
But it's enough to stay
It's enough to stay
I could tell them I don't love you
I could prove my heart is true
It might not be good enough for them
But I just wanna be good enough for you
Remember how it felt the first night
Our love we can't afford to lose
I'll take care of you for the rest of my days
If that's enough for you
If that's enough for you
I could tell them I don't love you
I could prove my heart is true
It might not be good enough for them
But I just wanna be good enough for you
And I hold, hold the loving
I said hold, hold the time
I said hold, hold your heart there
Next to mine
So one more night here without you
And then to you I will come back
They're ain't ever taking me away again
I've had enough of that
I've had enough of that
I could tell them I don't love you
I could prove my heart is true
It might not be good enough for them
But I just wanna be good enough for you
Just wanna be good enough for you
Just wanna be good enough for you
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

I wasn't good enough for her.
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

Time to open up, have had a bit of a rough week. Nothing compared to the posts above, but crazy feelings I’ve not felt in a long time.

So Docs have told me for a while now I have sciatica, based on the symptoms I’ve described. When it gets bad, I feel it all up and down the leg, and what feels like other areas. I can also tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, and against my better judgement, I started googling prostate and testicular cancer symptoms.

Initial Googling gave me the all clear, but then I started feeling dizzy and nauseous, which I remember seeing as symptoms.. but I knew it wasn’t related because the nausea magically went away when I ate, and the nausea was more like butterflies than anything. Dizziness and feeling depersonalised I just knew were anxiety.

So all week I’ve resting my back, and trying to reassure myself I have nothing to worry about.

Back is starting to settle down, and I’m finally feeling the anxiety starting to melt away.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by The Nickman »

Fuifui Bradbrad wrote: June 12, 2023, 4:22 pm Time to open up, have had a bit of a rough week. Nothing compared to the posts above, but crazy feelings I’ve not felt in a long time.

So Docs have told me for a while now I have sciatica, based on the symptoms I’ve described. When it gets bad, I feel it all up and down the leg, and what feels like other areas. I can also tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, and against my better judgement, I started googling prostate and testicular cancer symptoms.

Initial Googling gave me the all clear, but then I started feeling dizzy and nauseous, which I remember seeing as symptoms.. but I knew it wasn’t related because the nausea magically went away when I ate, and the nausea was more like butterflies than anything. Dizziness and feeling depersonalised I just knew were anxiety.

So all week I’ve resting my back, and trying to reassure myself I have nothing to worry about.

Back is starting to settle down, and I’m finally feeling the anxiety starting to melt away.
Hey Fui, I have really bad sciatica too, and I can 100% see why you could mistake it for testicular or prostate cancer. When mine flairs up it bloody well makes everything not work that well.

But when I'm on top of my back exercises and I get regular massages, it all goes away.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

Yeah thanks Nickman. No idea how comforting it is knowing I’m not the only one!

I think going Harry Hardcore on HIIT last week was what did it. No coincidence I did it on Friday and started getting symptoms on Sunday. I’m going to reevaluate my exercise routine now.

Thing is, I knew that, but try telling my head that!

** Side note ** Reading Dub’s posts above, and knowing where he’s at now, massive props mate. Hope you can see your progress now also :)
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by The Nickman »

Fuifui Bradbrad wrote: June 12, 2023, 4:48 pm Yeah thanks Nickman. No idea how comforting it is knowing I’m not the only one!

I think going Harry Hardcore on HIIT last week was what did it. No coincidence I did it on Friday and started getting symptoms on Sunday. I’m going to reevaluate my exercise routine now.

Thing is, I knew that, but try telling my head that!

** Side note ** Reading Dub’s posts above, and knowing where he’s at now, massive props mate. Hope you can see your progress now also :)
Medical anxiety can really manifest itself in a terrifying way. The hard part is you need to keep telling yourself that it's sciatica and that if you do your proper exercises and look after it well, then the flare up will go away.

Mine's been pretty bad since I ran the 10km and 5km Rocky River Run in the same day a few weeks ago, but I got a massage today and it's really sorted it out.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

Hey Fui.

Mate, sciatica pain is absolutely incredibly painful! Horrid stuff.

I've had severe anxiety for years, as you know. Still medicated and doing my best to eat and live well.

Based on what you've posted, it seems your mind is racing away unchecked, and with nothing to ground it again. No wonder you're anxious! But I actually you were on the verge of a panic attack. Your symptoms are akin to panic, which can be bloody awful

Take your time mate to challenge those maladaptive thoughts.

Speak truth to them.

You are Fui. You are OK. You have sciatica pain which can be managed.
You can seek medical advice.
You have your mates on the GH to help you.

You'll be fine, mate.
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

Thanks mate, things are much better now. I feel the anxiety melting away now. I liken it to waves on a beach. The waves are still coming in, but they’re getting smaller each day.

Got a remedial massage booked in for tomorrow to help with the back, and I’ll be right as rain again.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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  • NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by Off »

Very un fui like, your always upbeat mate.

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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

That's the thing, Q

People like Fui are 100% legit Good people, put up a positive attitude and everyone likes them....yet they still struggle.

This world we've created is so fast, so isolated and jts easy to be subject to internal demons.

Fuifui is a good man.

But he's not immune to life.

But he's well loved and supported. He'll be fine
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

Question wrote:Very un fui like, your always upbeat mate.

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I’m a man of many layers Q. Like a parfait.

Upbeat 9 times out of 10, this was just the 1. Sunshine all the time brings drought.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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  • NSW has been world-class with their approach to date, that's a fact. - 04/02/2021
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

Lost a mate to suicide on Monday.

Like most people, no one seen this coming.

He was 36, married to a beautiful woman and had a 3 year old girl.

Always chipper, always upbeat and the energy in the room.

But he was battling internal demons and we never knew.

Guys, please reach out if you're in a dark place.

Please.
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by The Nickman »

dubby wrote: June 24, 2023, 8:34 am Lost a mate to suicide on Monday.

Like most people, no one seen this coming.

He was 36, married to a beautiful woman and had a 3 year old girl.

Always chipper, always upbeat and the energy in the room.

But he was battling internal demons and we never knew.

Guys, please reach out if you're in a dark place.

Please.
Horrible to hear, dubs. Hope you're doing ok, mate.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by dubby »

The Nickman wrote: June 25, 2023, 2:18 pm
dubby wrote: June 24, 2023, 8:34 am Lost a mate to suicide on Monday.

Like most people, no one seen this coming.

He was 36, married to a beautiful woman and had a 3 year old girl.

Always chipper, always upbeat and the energy in the room.

But he was battling internal demons and we never knew.

Guys, please reach out if you're in a dark place.

Please.
Horrible to hear, dubs. Hope you're doing ok, mate.
Thanks, mate. It really stunned me. He really was a charismatic, life of the party guy.

Now he's gone.
The spiral of silence refers to the idea that when people fail to speak, the price of speaking rises. As the price to speak rises, still fewer speak out, which further causes the price to rise, so that fewer people yet will speak out, until a whole culture or nation is silenced. This is what happened in Germany.

If you do not speak, you are not being neutral, but are contributing to the success of the thing you refuse to name and condemn.
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by yeh raiders »

The Nickman wrote: June 25, 2023, 2:18 pm
dubby wrote: June 24, 2023, 8:34 am Lost a mate to suicide on Monday.

Like most people, no one seen this coming.

He was 36, married to a beautiful woman and had a 3 year old girl.

Always chipper, always upbeat and the energy in the room.

But he was battling internal demons and we never knew.

Guys, please reach out if you're in a dark place.

Please.
Horrible to hear, dubs. Hope you're doing ok, mate.
This.

Speak up fellas, there's help available everywhere and you'll be surprised how helpful your friends or family will be.
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FuiFui BradBrad
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by FuiFui BradBrad »

Yeah not gonna lie, I was a serial bottler and buried before I met Mrs Fui, and I was in all sorts. Since she encouraged me to be open, I’ve felt like a different person.

Even this thread, and you guys, have helped me heaps. Always speak up, you’re not alone.

With that, inspired by Ted Lasso, I propose we rename this thread to “Diamond Dogs Assemble”.
Feel free to call me RickyRicky StickStick if you like. I will also accept Super Fui, King Brad, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate-Thunda... or Brad.

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The Nickman
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Re: Depression and mental health

Post by The Nickman »

Fuifui Bradbrad wrote:Yeah not gonna lie, I was a serial bottler and buried before I met Mrs Fui, and I was in all sorts. Since she encouraged me to be open, I’ve felt like a different person.

Even this thread, and you guys, have helped me heaps. Always speak up, you’re not alone.

With that, inspired by Ted Lasso, I propose we rename this thread to “Diamond Dogs Assemble”.
Ruff ruff, ruff ruff ruff!
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