2006 Kilaben Killers

Chat about the tipping and other competitions

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2006 Kilaben Killers

Post by bonehead »

Singo's Kilaben Killers squad are all signed up, Major sponsor Pig Iron breweries are on board and the annual train fares of all players used up the available $65 000 cap space. Home Ground will again be the vacant Gosford Park, just a 45 min train ride from fassifern station.
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Post by bonehead »

Early season winners the Killers have dumped John Morris and Matt King in favour of Amos Roberts and Jonathon Thurston in a shock first week that saw both do nothing right.

Beaver Menzies, Mick Monaghan and Craig Wing are all on notice after there respective hauls of 0, 0 and 2 points in the Killers cruching 61 - 58 win over competition favourites the Calwell Doodles
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Post by bonehead »

Killers continue impressive start despite sabotage by manly's beaver menzies with -5 points, Thurston and Bowen also performing poorly. Brian Carney just wasn't hungry enough not scoring in the Killers 70 point romp. This said the Killers did rack up 77 pts which should have been 80 odd had Simpson played for instaed of the beaver. The win largely contributed to Joey Johns and Phlying Phil Graham.
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Post by Canberra Milk »

Coach of heavy competition favourites the Hasselhoffs, Mitch Buchannon, has scoffed at suggestions that the Kilaben Killers are a threat to their premiership ambitions.

"Brad who?? Never heard of him. Maybe him and me should have a swim off, see who can save a drowning, large breasted blonde the quickest. I think we know who would win that contest!"

In other news, Matt Sing celebrated his late call-up to the side with a hat trick, replacing the injured Matt Cooper.
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Post by Prodigiousman »

Matt Sing was the culprit then hey...

That late callup won you the game!
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Post by Canberra Milk »

In a bizarre twist, Horny Hasselhoffs auditor Michael Knight has found an alarming similarity between the teams of the Kilaben Killers and his own competition heavyweights the Hasselhoffs. This comes as a revelation after last season, when there were rumours that Kris_man's now defunct Malabar Crows were being imitated by Toby, aka, RL18, who has now been demoted to the second tier competition due to salary cap rorting.

"We can confirm that the two sides have more than a handful of players in common", said the Knight Rider. When asked whether he felt his team was being copied due to its high profile coach Mitch Buchannon, Knight said, "I'll let you be the judge of that. I'll give you the hot tip: we looked at each team's rosters before we went on a late signing spree; the only players they'd signed were Jason Bulgarelli, Matt Gafa and Paul Vautin. You tell me."
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Post by Butters »

CEO of the Deakin Dragons, Graham Appo, has emphatically denied Kris_Man's accustations of roster imitation in 2005. A pissed off Appo stated, "I had no idea what players were signed to the Malabar Crows. Why would we want to copy that dumb f**k!! Our players have dragon blood running through their veins, demonstrated by the loyalty they have shown by staying with the Dragons in 2006."

In other non-related news, it is understood that the Deakin Dragons are close to securing a major sponsor for the 2006 season after showing much promise in the early rounds. Rumours suggest that Four and Twenty Pies are close to signing on with the Dragons after breaking off all deals with the now defunt Malabar Crows Club.
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Post by Raider Azz »

he couldn't have copied you kman, you couldn't see anyone else's team until after round 1 completed.
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Post by Canberra Milk »

Raiders_Lover_18 wrote:CEO of the Deakin Dragons, Graham Appo, has emphatically denied Kris_Man's accustations of roster imitation in 2005. A pissed off Appo stated, "I had no idea what players were signed to the Malabar Crows. Why would we want to copy that dumb f**k!! Our players have dragon blood running through their veins, demonstrated by the loyalty they have shown by staying with the Dragons in 2006."

In other non-related news, it is understood that the Deakin Dragons are close to securing a major sponsor for the 2006 season after showing much promise in the early rounds. Rumours suggest that Four and Twenty Pies are close to signing on with the Dragons after breaking off all deals with the now defunt Malabar Crows Club.
:lol: Hasselhoff laugh.
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Post by bonehead »

Kris_man wrote:Coach of heavy competition favourites the Hasselhoffs, Mitch Buchannon, has scoffed at suggestions that the Kilaben Killers are a threat to their premiership ambitions.

"Singo who?? Never heard of him. Maybe him and me should have a swim off, see who can save a drowning, large breasted blonde the quickest. I think we know who would win that contest!"
Manager of the Kilaben Killers Singo Singleton scoffed at the challenge from Mitch Hasslehoff during the weekend whilst hosting his usual hef party at the hill ranch after another thumping win stating that "while Hasslehoff was off smooching dead blokes with blue tongues he'd keep celebrating another win and sucking down more blue tongues from his brewery"
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Post by bonehead »

Another week another easy win for the Killers beating the Gladiators with only 15 men and no kicker but still able to rack up 48 points. Captain Billy Slater could be axed for talk of him joining the Rah Rah ranks after a rucking incident at training.
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Post by bonehead »

Captain Billy Slater has benn axed by Killers Manager Singo who also packed Phil Graham off for an undertermined break with Shaun Berrigan and Brent Webb their replacements. Amos Roberts gets his chance at captain.
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Post by Canberra Milk »

Top of the table clash this week, with the Kilaben Killers taking on the Horny Hasselhoffs. Both sides are yet to register a loss, and have attacking records far superior to the other sides in the competition.

"I have a lot of respect for Bradsom's Killers", said Hasselhoffs coach Mitch Buchannon. "I feel the Hasselhoffs and the Killers are in a league of our own; we are the aristocracy, and the rest are the plebs. In saying that, we are a level above them, and as such will be taking this game very lightly. There are a few new things I want the boys to try, this will be a good opportunity for them to do so."

When asked if he thought this match was the equivalent to the Cowboys versus Knights game in the NRL, CEO Kris_man said, "I can see the similarities, although there's one key difference - that game will be close."

Buchannon would not comment on whether some of his top players will be rested for the match.
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Post by bonehead »

Sounds of laughter reverberated around a mainly empty Gosford park stadium yesterday when Killers manager Singo announced his side to take on the undefeated Hornies, further sackings toady with 1 week experiment Shaun Berrigan and Michael Ennis making way for Steve Price and a rookie winger as the killers begin looking to the finals. "Yeah we figure we'll just draw names out of a hat this week as its almost like having the bye" quoted Singo when pressed about his round 6 selections.
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Post by bonehead »

The now familliar sounds of the Killers victory song

WE STOPPED, clap clap clap
WE STOPPED, clap clap clap...

WE STOPPED THE HOFF!!!

sounded out around Gosford park and the train home after easily defeating pretender early competition favourites "Horny Hastlehoffs" to go 6 from 6 in 2006.

Manager Singo's unquenchable thirst for victory will see him once again swing the axe this week with Todd Carney's head squarely on the block.

WE STOPPED, clap clap clap
WE STOPPED, clap clap clap...

WE STOPPED THE HOFF!!!
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Post by Canberra Milk »

:| :|

"The competition is not won in April", is all Hasselhoff had to say. He was also heard to say, as he walked off in a huff, "can I get some more wax for my chest hair please?! This isn't a bikini contest, I need wax!"

PS - who were your captain and kicker? Mine were Bell and Johns, think it lost me the game in the end.

PPS - look at the rankings for Raiders supporters, we're killing it; I'm 13th, youre 4th. The Greenhouse Cup overall is nowhere to be seen in the rankings, unlike last year where it was on top for like the first 10 rounds. I think these other blokes are letting us down. Bring back edabomb!
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Post by bonehead »

Amos and Johns, so yeah purely captaincy choice in the end. Didn't help I swapped TLL in for Ryan and Priddis in for Withers :oops
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Post by bonehead »

Despite resting several stars the Killers continued their unbeaten run in the Greenhouse Cup, Johns, Withers, Tongue and TLL all failed to show up and may be disciplined. New recruit Tim Smith was one of several rested players that cost the Killers 18 points.
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Post by bonehead »

The Killers have sacked recruitment and retention manager Jerome Guisset in a stunning cleanout after their first loss of the season. Killers Mananger Singo was heard to mutter "Any idiot that replaces Albert with Vagana can piss off to centrelink". Further sackings expected this week.
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