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pacman
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Funny news stories

Post by pacman » October 11, 2006, 2:13 pm

Lightning exits woman's bottom

October 09, 2006 12:00am
Article from: The Australian

A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.

Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at home when lightning struck the building.

She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.

I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.

It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don't remember much at all." Doctors at the city hospital where she was treated for burns to the mouth and rear said: "The accident is bizarre but not impossible.

She was wearing rubber bathroom shoes at the time and so instead of earthing through her feet it appears the electricity shot out of her backside," a medic told local television news channel, 24 Sata.

"It appears to have earthed through the damp shower curtain that she was touching as she bent over to put her mouth under the tap. If she had not been wearing the shoes she would probably have been killed by the blast."

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20 ... 62,00.html
Last edited by pacman on October 18, 2006, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by The Naked Zombie » October 11, 2006, 3:40 pm

I guess this thread just goes to prove that lightning really does strike twice!
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Post by DJ Raida » October 14, 2006, 10:03 pm

Gold Coast Raider wrote:I guess this thread just goes to prove that lightning really does strike twice!
i dont get it

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Post by The Naked Zombie » October 14, 2006, 11:03 pm

This thread was started two days earlier ;)

http://www.thegreenhouseact.com.au/foru ... php?t=5933
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Re: Lightning exits woman's bottom

Post by Butters » October 17, 2006, 11:50 am

pacman wrote:A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.


:lol: :lol: Not actually funny but :lol:
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Post by DJ Raida » October 17, 2006, 10:50 pm

Gold Coast Raider wrote:This thread was started two days earlier ;)

http://www.thegreenhouseact.com.au/foru ... php?t=5933
ah, now i see that ur post was indeed very witty, and i look quite the fool

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Post by The Naked Zombie » October 17, 2006, 11:27 pm

DJ Raida wrote:
Gold Coast Raider wrote:This thread was started two days earlier ;)

http://www.thegreenhouseact.com.au/foru ... php?t=5933
ah, now i see that ur post was indeed very witty, and i look quite the fool
No no no, my apologies for being a little oblique ;)
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Post by pacman » October 18, 2006, 7:03 pm

'Carjacker' automatically caught

An alleged female carjacker couldn't get into first gear when confronted with a manual vehicle in Sydney's south yesterday, police say.

The woman, 20, allegedly dragged a 49-year-old woman out of her Toyota near the intersection of Forest and Wyangala roads in Miranda, police said.

But the would-be carjacker found herself behind the wheel of a manual vehicle, which she didn't know how to drive, police said.

When she tried to run away, two men who had witnessed the incident stopped her and police arrived shortly after.

The driver was not hurt.

The alleged carjacker was arrested and taken to Sutherland Hospital, then Miranda police station, where she was charged with common assault and assault with intent to take or drive the car.

Bail was refused and the woman is due to appear at Sutherland Local Court today.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/car ... 58819.html

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Post by pacman » October 18, 2006, 7:04 pm

yea i couldn't be bothered starting a new topic, and how was i meant to know that **** was that :lol:, anyway i'll just re-name this one

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Post by DJ Raida » October 18, 2006, 7:35 pm

this thread could get interesting :D

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Post by pacman » October 30, 2006, 11:56 pm

Axle Whitehead exposes himself at ARIAs
Monday Oct 30 19:11 AEDT

Television personality Axle Whitehead has been rebuked by Network Ten after exposing his ***** at the Australian Recording Industry (ARIA) Awards.

The incident was not telecast on Network Ten, and it was unclear how many of the 10,000 people, including young music fans, who were at the Acer Arena in Sydney on Sunday night saw it.

Whitehead, who has hosted Ten's Video Hits for two years, was on-stage presenting an award to hip-hop outfit Hilltop Hoods with radio jock Jabba, when he exposed himself.

He also simulated masturbation on the ARIA trophy as the winners made their way to the stage.

"I was shocked that he did it," said one guest who attended the event and saw the incident.

"It's just lucky that it wasn't shown live on television."

While the 2003 Australian Idol finalist couldn't be contacted on Monday for comment, a Ten spokeswoman said the stunt was unacceptable.

"In an incident that was not telecast, last night Axle momentarily exposed himself at the ARIAs," she said.

"His behaviour was inappropriate and Ten and ARIA producers, Roving Enterprises, do not condone it.

"We are addressing this issue with Axle and will make no further comment at this stage."

ARIA event producer Mark Pope agreed.

"I wasn't in the actual room at the time of the alleged incident," he said.

"However this type of behaviour isn't something that ARIA finds acceptable or condones."

The 25-year-old Victorian's former Video Hits co-host Kelly Cavuoto was dropped from the program following a drunken outburst at the 2004 Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=156866

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Post by Peter » November 1, 2006, 11:56 am

Maybe next time this guy should think twice about exposing himself while on the stage with someone who calls himself 'Jabba'.

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Post by Priory » July 23, 2007, 11:19 am

:clap:

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Post by pacman » August 29, 2007, 8:17 pm

Freak fall traps boy's testicles

MALAYSIAN doctors performed a 30-minute operation to free a nine-year-old boy's testicles stuck in a metal pipe after he slipped while bathing, a newspaper said today.

In response to a call from his brother in an adjacent room, the boy climbed up a partition in the bathroom, but slipped and fell on an uncovered metal pipe, trapping his testicles in the narrow tube, the New Straits Times said.

Medical staff answering the emergency call at the boy's home on the northern island of Penang were unable to remove the L-shaped pipe and had to call in firemen.

They used a hydraulic cutter to open both ends of the pipe before the child could be taken to hospital, shrieking in agony.

He was discharged after doctors performed a half-hour operation.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 09,00.html

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 8:44 pm

:lol: at this thread.

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 9:03 pm

Sleepwalker falls four floors, continues sleeping

By staff writers

August 29, 2007

A GERMAN teenager who climbed out of a fourth-floor window and fell 10m to the ground kept on sleeping despite suffering a broken arm and leg.

The 17-year-old, who was found by police, had just moved into a new flat inthe eastern town of Demmin with his sister, Spiegel Online reported.

His sister said her brother was a frequent sleepwalker.

Police said the teenager hadn't consumed alcohol or taken drugs.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 9:06 pm

Ouch, they did it again

From correspondents in Colombo

August 29, 2007

VENOMOUS wasps have attacked over 100 tourists at a fifth-century rock fortress in Sri Lanka for a second straight day, causing another frantic stampede, police said.

At least 75 people were taken to hospital while others were given first aid following the incident at the foot of the 180-metre fortress of Sigiriya.

More than 250 people were stung yesterday, police said, adding that at least three people were still in a critical condition.

The Sigiriya rock, 160km north of Colombo, is a World Heritage site known for frescoes of bare-chested women.

Hundreds of thousands of tourists come to see the frescoes but are told to maintain silence so as not to disturb the wasps.

But unusually high temperatures may have upset the wasps, officials said.

The authorities do not use chemicals or smoke on the insects, fearing they could harm the 1500-year-old frescoes known as the Sigiriya maidens.

Military personnel were deployed to help evacuate the visitors overnight and yesterday.

Police said there were no foreigners among those taken to hospital.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 9:09 pm

Men arrested for stealing 31 golf flags

August 28, 2007

TWO men, perhaps with dreams of building their own golf course, have been arrested for stealing 31 golf flags.

Police said patrols went to a house at Murray Bridge, east of Adelaide, yesterday following some routine enquires.

There they found the golf flags, the type used to mark the hole on each putting green.

A police spokesman said it was alleged the flags were taken from the nearby Murray Bridge Golf Club over a period of about 12 months.

"The two arrested men, aged 18 and 19, regularly took a short cut through the golf course as they walked home from a local hotel," the spokesman said.

Both men will appear in court at a later date.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by Question » August 29, 2007, 9:11 pm

nasty_daddy wrote:Sleepwalker falls four floors, continues sleeping
they forgot to mention that the poor guy was watching the channel nine footy show that his exchange student freind had brought over from oz, when he fell asleep 10 minutes into the viewing of it.

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 9:12 pm

Burning Man burns too soon

From correspondents in San Francisco

August 29, 2007

THE Burning Man effigy, whose torching marks the highlight of the annual eponymous countercultural festival in the Nevada desert, was set on fire prematurely - arson was suspected.

The symbol of the week-long festival, scheduled to go up in flames on Saturday night, was set on fire overnight on Tuesday and one man was arrested.

With tens of thousands of people heading toward the area east of Reno hoping to see the famed mascot end its short existence in a massive bonfire, organisers say they will build a new Burning Man.

"We have the means and the will. The event continues on schedule, and the Man will burn on Saturday night," said Andie Grace, a festival spokeswoman.

An official with Nevada's Pershing County Jail said Paul Addis of San Francisco was being held on charges of arson, possession of fireworks, destruction of property and resisting a public officer.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 9:16 pm

Look what the cook's dragged in
by Matt Cunningham

August 28, 2007

A TERRITORY author has found a novel solution to a feral cat problem – serve them up for dinner.

Alice Springs children's author Kaye Kessing has entered her sauteed cat and quandong in this year's Wildfoods Recipe Challenge of the Alice Desert Festival.

She chose the dish ahead of her other feline favourite, the "caterole".

The secret, says the feral chef, is to make sure the cat is well done so that any bacteria is killed.

"It's a white meat but I would say it's not as gamey as rabbit," Ms Kessing said.

"It has to be cooked to tender perfection."

Her recipe is simple. It combines the cat meat and quandong with some native lemongrass and some Murray River salt.

The mixture is then thrown in a frypan before simmering away in a crockpot.

"I would never boil a cat -- I would roast it or chop it up and saute it," she said.

Ms Kessing said she first ate cat about 15 years ago, inspired by local Aborigines.

"The Aboriginal mob eat kangaroo and all the stuff we now eat so I assumed it would be OK," she said.

Ms Kessing said Territorians should be eating more wild meat to help reduce the feral animals' impact on the environment.

Other favourites in her wildfood cookbook include feral pigeons and camels.

"As far as I'm concerned, there's a free feed in most people's back yards,"

she said.

But Ms Kessing is yet to come up with a culinary delight for cane toads.

"I haven't ventured there, don't know if I will ... maybe cane-toad legs."

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 29, 2007, 9:21 pm

'Disgusting' display over city-wide undies ban

From correspondents in Atlanta

August 29, 2007

ATLANTA residents squared off today at a public hearing on a proposed city-wide ban on low-slung pants - or any clothing that exposes underwear in public.

Middle-aged and elderly residents in the southern US city booed and hissed James Fancy, 19, as he pulled his shorts down at the city council meeting to expose striped boxers, and Tabby Chase, 30, as she stood up to reveal a bra under a fishnet shirt.

Both underwear flashers held up a sign saying "Clothes are not a crime".

"Disgusting," said a man in the back of the room.

The proposed ordinance is the brainchild of city council member CT Martin, deputy chairman of the Public Safety and Legal Administration Committee.

Mr Martin said his injunction was aimed at young people in Atlanta who wore their shorts low enough to expose their underwear, typically boxer shorts - considered a fashion trend.

The ordinance, which would fine violators, would also prohibit women from exposing the top strap of their thong underwear.

Mr Martin said baggy shorts were part of an epidemic of bad behaviour by youths in Atlanta who were trying to be hip.

Others at the hearing said it was particularly an issue in the black community.

Jimmy Person, who opposed the measure, said it gave police another way to harass black males on the street.

"Why don't you all pass a bill to make sure these young people can read and write?" he admonished the four-member city council.

Very low-slung trousers are already banned in the southern US city of Delcambre, in Louisiana, where an offenders' cheek can earn them a fine of $US500 ($615) or up to six months in jail.

But council communications director Dexter Chambers said Atlanta would not be so harsh.

"There would only be a small fine, no jail time at all," he said.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by pacman » August 29, 2007, 9:35 pm

nasty_daddy wrote:Sleepwalker falls four floors, continues sleeping
Sounds like something i'd do :lol:

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Post by david231280 » August 29, 2007, 9:58 pm

pacman wrote:Sounds like something i'd do :lol:
You wouldn't be Chris Jamieson would you??

Well if you are then i can understand if not well here is why i ask.

At the start of year 11 this kid in my year came to school in a wheelchair with 2 broken legs.

Apparently he was away with his family up on the gold coast and apparently they had been scuba diving. Well that night he slept walk out of where he was staying and landed on concrete a couple of stories down.

Mine you this guy was a kiwi and he wore 3 jumpers in the middle of summer. Wonder why some guys tied him to a tree and threw eggs at him!!!!

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Post by nasty_daddy » August 30, 2007, 6:50 pm

Robber refuses tenner, waits for change
August 30, 2007

NEW YORK: A knife-wielding robber only needed $4 – so he refused to take a $10 bill from his victim and waited while he man got change at a pizza shop.

He then took the $US4 and ran off, only to be captured a few blocks away in Greenburgh, north of New York, police said yesterday.

Police Captain Joseph DeCarlo said it "really is an odd case but it is a robbery ... this is unique, where the robber doesn't want all your money".

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22 ... 62,00.html

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Post by Guy Incognito » May 14, 2008, 6:46 pm

Jedi attack: Darth Vader lookalike spared

A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a black garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of Britain's first Jedi church has been given a suspended sentence.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones - a.k.a. Master Jonba Hehol - with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates' Court in England. He also whacked Jones's 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones - or Master Mormi Hehol - bruising his thigh, in the March 25 incident.

Unfortunately for Hughes, the incident was recorded on a video camera that the cousins had set up to film themselves in a light saber battle.

"Darth Vader! Jedis!" Hughes shouted as he approached.

Hughes claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine beforehand.

"He knows his behaviour was wrong and didn't want it to happen but he has no recollection of it," said Hughes's lawyer, Frances Jones.

District Judge Andrew Shaw sentenced Hughes to two months in jail but suspended the sentence for one year. He also ordered Hughes to pay 100 pounds ($206) to each of his victims and 60 pounds in court costs.

Barney Jones, his brother Daniel and cousin Michael set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. It claims about 30 members.

Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the Star Wars films. In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 - 0.7 per cent of the population - listed Jedi as their religion

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tale ... 75675.html

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Re: Funny news stories

Post by Tixie » August 15, 2008, 9:49 am

Something we've always suspected.........

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Haemorrhoid remedies cold comfort for sufferers
Bum humour is still a staple of schoolyard pranks and even silly television shows. But haemorrhoids are definitely no laughing matter. Just ask Dr Karl.

By Karl S. Kruszelnicki
ABC News


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Haemorrhoid clinic,
Christchurch, New Zealand
(Source: Flukeman/Wikimedia Commons)
1st Field Hygiene - We clean up after you!
Stop dribbling - it's an environmental hazard

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RAIDERS MEMBER #5213
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Re: Funny news stories

Post by 1-eyedgreen » August 15, 2008, 10:57 am

This ones old now but thought it was worthy of this thread

Dwarf's ***** stuck to vacuum cleaner

A DWARF performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his ***** got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.

The attachment broke before the performance and Mr Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me," Mr Blackner said.

"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived


http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/s ... 28,00.html
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I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my *****. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

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Re: Funny news stories

Post by Question » September 4, 2008, 12:01 pm

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/s ... 21,00.html


good grief!!! what is the world coming to... :lol: :lol:

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Re: Funny news stories

Post by Sasha » September 4, 2008, 12:10 pm

Question wrote:http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/s ... 21,00.html


good grief!!! what is the world coming to... :lol: :lol:
Why are they complaining, doesn't that usually cost extra :lol:
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Re: Funny news stories

Post by Question » September 4, 2008, 5:26 pm

Schifty wrote:
Question wrote:http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/s ... 21,00.html


good grief!!! what is the world coming to... :lol: :lol:
Why are they complaining, doesn't that usually cost extra :lol:
what a Metrosexual limp dick..

More power to the retro Sexual imo.

reading this again,did he actually receive the penetration.. :? :o

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Re: Funny news stories

Post by Makaveli » September 17, 2008, 9:21 pm


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Re: Funny news stories

Post by Sasha » September 19, 2008, 11:28 pm

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Re: Funny news stories

Post by manitoba » September 23, 2008, 9:52 am

lol, brisbane times.

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-TW-
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Re: Funny news stories

Post by -TW- » September 30, 2008, 3:31 pm

just went from bad to worse :lol:

piss funny but lol

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