2017 segment and banter thread

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pickles
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2017 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

For all of you football articles, team lists and predictions please see the thread in the main forum.

This is the thread for pictures of and predictions from your pets, poetry and pictures of Nickman's from across the interwebs.

Segments were the clear highlight of the greenhouse pregame threads before being relegated to the lime lounge for apparently not being football related enough but I think it is essential to carry on the joy and creativity of raiders fans celebrating our most successful season in recent memory. I firmly believe that a full season of segments might just provide the extra boost required to get the team that premiership that has eluded us for so long!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

Welcome to the first edition for 2017 of pickman's nickman. For those who are unfamiliar with the premise behind this segment every week I trawl the Internet for a random picture of someone called nickman and post it here. It is truly remarkable how many Nickman's are out there and how funny they look.

So for week 1 I bring you Joshua Michael Nickman

Image
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

Yesssssss! We're back baby!!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

This year is a real litmus test for "Who the **** is this ****?"
After a stellar first season, backing up and continuing to find ***** no one has heard of is going to be tough
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

There's always a new crop of players coming through that only die hard fans have ever heard of. If that isn't the case I'm backing in your creativity to get around it somehow!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Sid »

What's that sound?!

Welcome to the first 2017 unanticipated sporadic segment of.. WHAT'S THAT SOUND?!

This week we're playing back a transcript of a sound made during a pointless pre-season game and you post in to guess what it is.

Transcript
"<SNAP><CRACKLE><POP> "**** BUBBLES!!!"

Over to you folks to guess WHAT"S THAT SOUND?!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by simo »

either croker popping his knee cap or sharks players splitting a pinga


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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

It has to be the first one because there is no way sharks players split pingas!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Sid »

yep, Croker's knee
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Rick »

Is it Crokers knee?


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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Sid »

Yep, you get it right too.. Well done.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by gangrenous »

Is this thread Reptar approved?
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

This thread definitely needs more reptar and his cats.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

Who the **** is this ****?

Welcome back to another season of Pigman's "Who the **** is this ****?!"
After an amazingly successful debut season, we're back again and it's just going to get tougher to find ***** no one has **** heard of, but Ol Pigman has never been one to back away from a challenge, so without further ado
It's that time of the week when we ask...

Sam Hoare?
Who the **** is this ****?
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Sid »

A quick search on IMDB tells me he's Captain America
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Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

Sid wrote:A quick search on IMDB tells me he's Captain America
Haha! I was almost going to crack a joke about that. Poor Cap, being saddled with the same name as this goober

Edit: also great that you immediately went to google on the name. Proof in the pudding that you've got no idea who that **** is!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Makaveli »

Welcome back Pigman

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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

Pigman is right, and you **** know it!

Alright, another season, same old story! You know the drill. I’m going to tell you which players win the skins based on actual footballing ability, no some stupid **** 1 week form guide. This is quite simply the best team you can muster combining the two teams. If as you read this you thought i got a few things wrong, that’s ok, you thought wrong. Please refer to the title.

Round 1: Raiders V Cowboys

1. Jack Wighton: i like Coote, think he's an excellent player, but if you break down their game Wighton is the better defender, ball runner and more athletic player. He's probably not quite there as a ball player yet but he's not that far off either.
2. Kyle Feldt: Cotric is a very talented young footballer but Kyle Feldt, IMO, is one of the best finishers in the game. Easy call for now.
3. Justin O'Neill: Im not a huge O'Neill fan, and as a pure footballer Whitehead is far better but we've got no track record of him as a centre. O'Neill gets the nod
4. BJ Leilua: He was either the best or 2nd best centre in the game last year pending on how you feel about Croker. Linnett is nothing more than a good solid FGer.
5. Jordan Rapana: Right now, Jordy Raps is THE best winger in the game. Easy call in favour of Delightful Fingers Rapana.
6. Michael Morgan: Really tight call here, but the pedigree and performance on the big stage tips the scales ever so slightly to Morgan.
7. Johnathon Thurston: One of the best to ever do it. Nothing more to be said.
8. Matt Scott: This generations Lazo. Not as good as Lazo of course but his longevity is amazing. Still one of the best props in the game.
9. Josh Hodgson: You can lock this spot up all year unless we're playing the Storm. Hodgson is second only to the greatest hooker of all time.
10. Shannon Boyd: The only saving grace of losing Paul Vaughan was the way Boyd developed last year. Now capped with an australian jersey. He's going to be our leader up front for a long time.
11. Josh Papalii: I dont think there was a better edge forward in the game last year. He took his game to another level and took the Raiders with him. He's a stud.
12. Elliott Whitehead: Yeah i did it. He didnt cut it above as a centre so he's in the pool. Dont like it? **** OFF M8. He's a genuine star as an edge forward and the next best after Papalii
13. Taumalolo: If Papalii was the best edge forward in the game last year, Lolo was the best middle forward. He's an incredible footballer who impacts games every game. Deserved Dally M medal.

Interchange

14. Jake Granville: This is the role he plays for the most part anyways, though he plays starter minutes. At his best coming off the bench against tired A and B defenders.
15. Scott Bolton: With no Paulo, Taylor or Tamou all of a sudden the middle depth in this match up is looking a little shakey. Bolton isnt any great shakes but he makes the team given current available talent.
16. Sia Soliolia: Im a bit stuck here, i dont like the middle options left available to me and Sia happens to be a genuine gun player, and im spoiled for choice for the remaining edge forward spot. Sia gets the last middle third spot
17. Coen Hess: Could have gone Lowe or Cooper but from what i've seen Hess is already better than both of those guys. It wont be long before he's in the starting line up, he's a really impressive young footballer. I'm stoked to see him off the bench and hopefully playing limited minutes.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

A pretty good start to the year. Obviously starting with some controversial decisions to keep the punters interested.

A bit harsh on soliola for mine. I thought he was one of our best middle third players all of last season and we were much worse off when he didn't start at lock. It's probably my biggest worry for this game.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

But seriously, raiders @ storm... That was a bridge too far, even for you
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Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by gangrenous »

Haikus with Gangers Round 1: Canberra Raiders V The North Queensland Cowboys

Segments thread without
Reptar is like Liberals
Without Bernardi*

* i.e. Short one dinosaur


Bonus Angry White Boy Rap - Without Lee
Guess who's back?
Back again.
Gangers' back!
Tell your friends!

If you stumbled in here and you are a newbie
You may be a little confused by what you see
This is the segment thread where we are free
To drop truth bombs through poetry

So 2017 is finally here
Many people feel our path is clear
But there's a long way yet to trophy beer
We have to dodge the curse of the odd year

Now this looks like your team Ricky!
So everybody just follow me
The premiership is bittersweet you'll see
Because it feels so empty without Lee!

Don't forget also depth is a problem
Now we've released two Lees and a Fensom
We're gonna need a good injury run, an' then some
Plus hope for no long term suspension

In 2016 the world struggled with refugees
But now we see displacement of Croker's knee
It's settled, and everyone agrees
The All-Star game belongs in history

Now this looks like your team Ricky!
So everybody just follow me
Dropping Edrick has some irony
But it feels so empty without Lee!

So what's the left side plan Ricky and Furner?!
Looks like Cotric's gonna be a fast learner
A centre really needs some speed to burn, ah!
Not sure if that's coming from Turner?

If that don't work Rick's feelin' the strain
Gotta pull another rabbit from outta his brain
He's done it before, he'll do it again
Backup plan! You're at centre Coal Train!

Now this looks like your team Ricky!
So everybody just follow me
There's separation with his arm you see
So suck on that judiciary!

Coming to the end of my white boy rap
Two birds in the hand are worth one in the lap
Can't wait to come down with the Viking Clap.
Gotta squeeze in that the Sharks are crap!

The season begins, see how it goes
We await the highs, and the Junior Paulos
Sure Stick has the boys up on their toes
Let's hope they bury the Broncos

Now this looks like your team Ricky!
So everybody just follow me
We've had enough of the controversy
So don't drink and drive Josh Papalii!

Nya nya nya nya nya. Nya nya nya nya nya. Nya nya nya nya nya. Na na na na.
Last edited by gangrenous on March 1, 2017, 5:22 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by magoo »

Hahaha very clever gangers
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by gangrenous »

Cheers magoo!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

That's going to be tough to back up for next week gangers! Nice work!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by gangrenous »

Yeah, I hope people enjoy Round 1 because at this point I haven't got a lot for Round 2! Probably just get a stock standard haiku
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by BJ »

BJs Mole of the week is back and once again will be the leading source for all things rugby league.

Moley is hearing that Big David Taylor could be pulling on the green jersey and pulling on a few beer taps at a Queanbeyan pub.

You heard it here first.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by -TW- »

gangrenous wrote:Yeah, I hope people enjoy Round 1 because at this point I haven't got a lot for Round 2! Probably just get a stock standard haiku Image
Gone off far too early imo
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by gangrenous »

To be honest it's not the first time I've been accused of that.

At least I had fun...
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by -TW- »

But left the rest of us longing for more
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

Need more segments
Where is everyone?!!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by gangrenous »

Damn straight! What have we got? 5 segmenters so far?

This season is going to be a disaster! We're gonna get pumped.

I for one blame Donald Trump for the lack of segments. Half our posters have been detained at the borders.
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by Botman »

Need more segments
Where is everyone?!!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

I demand simo get in here and post a photo of his dog **** stat!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by pickles »

And seriously, where the **** is reptar? At least he could post the list of weekly segments!
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Re: Round 1 segment and banter thread

Post by BJ »

gangrenous wrote:Damn straight! What have we got? 5 segmenters so far?

This season is going to be a disaster! We're gonna get pumped.

I for one blame Donald Trump for the lack of segments. Half our posters have been detained at the borders.
Surely someone can take actual Donald Trump tweets and change a few words to make them Raiders centric. I'll give it a whirl.

Tweet
"If Peter Doust resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country—I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses!"

Donald Trump 7.22am 11 sept 2014
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