Women?

VictorTheViking · Post by **VictorTheViking** » February 3, 2010, 7:38 pm

The following is a description of what happened to me recently....

I was in a relationship, moved in with the girl like 2 weeks ago, and left 4 days later.

We were in the process of moving, and im sitting in the place we got, wondering what had happened to her getting groceries and stuff to start us off (we both chipped in). Anyway, my olds noticed this and went n bought some stuff for us, this pissed her off (even though they were only helping?), and I said to her that I didn't have anymore money to put in for groceries and that they wanted to help, so she's like "well maybe you should have thought of this before you said yes to moving in" (she asked me to move in, not the other way around)

Anyway, fast forward to australia day, and we get up for breakfast and find out that my fridge had frozen the eggs we had in there (she turned it up because some stuff wasnt cold enough), so we went to her parents place where she happened to mention that the fridge froze some things.

Later that afternoon she tells me that her parents were coming up to look at the place, and low and behold, they rock up with a new fridge. Normally im loathe to accept "charity" (too proud for that) but I made the exception because of her little kid and the fact that a fridge freezing food aint good.

I find out later that night after she left her phone inbox open that not only did she know about the fridge (her mother told her it was her choice whether she told me or not) but she lied right to my face about it, not only this, but she'd been **** talking me behind my back to her friends, making up all sorts of ****, that I didnt help with the move and crap (I supplied all the furniture ****, and it was me and my brother in law that moved it in, he even bought us a pantry because there wasnt one in the place).

I was halfway through doing the dishes when I saw this stuff on her phone, and I packed a bag and walked out without saying anything, I can tolerate a lot of **** (id've put up with the **** slinging to friends) but I wont stand for it when someone lies right to my face.

And it pretty much turned to **** when she bought my family into it, saying all sorts of crap about my 2 year old nephew still being in nappies (when her 3 year old isnt even out of them yet) and giving my older sister **** for the 3 miscarriages shes had. Giving my olds **** asking when they were gonna move in and wipe our asses because they helped us out when her family didnt lift a finger.

Turned really sour at the beginning. And the funny thing is, we'd even talked about kids and stuff (while I was completely **** blind to how she was being behind my back)

We ended up talking about it yesterday, and agreed that it'd be best if we didn't get back together, beside the fact that I dont think I could trust her (as much as it still hurts) I cant forget the **** she said to my family.

So thats basically it (this next bit is gonna sound like a sob story) this is like the umpteenth time ive tried to get ahead in life only to have the good times kicked out from underneath me and have to start again, kinda grates on your nerves after a while..lol.

I have absolutely no **** idea how to deal with this now...really did love the girl

julian87 · Post by **julian87** » February 3, 2010, 8:04 pm

You made teh right decision to **** her off tbh. I know a lot of younger relationships aren't as serious as the one I'm in but you've got to have each others' backs 100% IMO.

Off · Post by **Off** » February 3, 2010, 8:09 pm

Take it from a bloke that has been with the same beautiful woman for 15 years,it all sound pretty trivial to me,ring her up and get it on mate.

Post by **dubby** » February 3, 2010, 8:27 pm

Mate, if you cannot trust her then don't enter into a relationship with her.

Relationships are built on a foundation of trust, honesty and also forgiveness. It sounds like you have issues with all three.

Dude, you deserve someone who will respect you (wont rag on you behind your back), be honest with you (and also discreet), and of course be gracious with you.

Your heart will heal, your bad feelings disappear and in the future you will agree that she wasn't the one for you.

Move on Vic.

Grant · Post by **Grant** » February 3, 2010, 8:30 pm

Question wrote:Take it from a bloke that has been with the same beautiful woman for 15 years,it all sound pretty trivial to me,ring her up and get it on mate.

To quote Brandan Lee in the Crow "Nothing in life is trivial".

You made the right decision. You have to find someone who will meet you 1/2 way. Otherwise you'll be sitting there 10 years from now with the same person who is still slinging mud at you and your family for offering help. You don't need that, you need someone who can make you a better person, not feel like a worse one.

Glad you kicked her to the Kerb, there's plenty of Fish in the sea... unless you live in a Desert in which there are no seas, in which case you're screwed

The Naked Zombie · Post by **The Naked Zombie** » February 3, 2010, 8:30 pm

The most important thing is that you want to be with this girl, then you need to stop blaming each other for things and learn to forgive. Any relationship is going to have a butt-load of arguments and misunderstanding - especially if you've both got strong personalities - and if you don't resolve these differences and allow the pain to fester, it's doomed.

If you want to spend your life with her, and from what you've said it's pretty clear you do, then get her back ASAP, because when she's gone she's gone for good.

VictorTheViking · Post by **VictorTheViking** » February 3, 2010, 8:39 pm

We've talked since this happened, and I aired my issues, so its anybodies guess as to what happens from here, were still friendly I guess, so anything could happen, but then again, is it worth the risk?

Off · Post by **Off** » February 3, 2010, 8:44 pm

Mate as i said,these are quite trivial,although brando Lee might disagree,young love ,crazy times.worth the risk? Ask yourself why you are so cut up in the first place,i believe you will find the answer.

Post by **greeneyed** » February 3, 2010, 8:47 pm

Even though you didn't want people to feel sorry for you, I'm sure everyone does feel for your current situation.

And whatever you do, don't take advice from people on this thread! You know the situation and what is best for you and all concerned. Only you can know that.

Off · Post by **Off** » February 3, 2010, 8:52 pm

greeneyed wrote:Even though you didn't want people to feel sorry for you, I'm sure everyone does feel for your current situation.

And whatever you do, don't take advice from people on this thread! You know the situation and what is best for you and all concerned. Only you can know that.

Mind your own business and go to the joe picker 2010 angle/line running thread.

Post by **greeneyed** » February 3, 2010, 8:54 pm

Question wrote:
greeneyed wrote:Even though you didn't want people to feel sorry for you, I'm sure everyone does feel for your current situation.

And whatever you do, don't take advice from people on this thread! You know the situation and what is best for you and all concerned. Only you can know that.
Mind your own business and go to the joe picker 2010 angle/line running thread.

And I'd be particularly concerned if the poor bloke listened to the likes of you.

Off · Post by **Off** » February 3, 2010, 8:57 pm

greeneyed wrote:
Question wrote:
greeneyed wrote:Even though you didn't want people to feel sorry for you, I'm sure everyone does feel for your current situation.

And whatever you do, don't take advice from people on this thread! You know the situation and what is best for you and all concerned. Only you can know that.
Mind your own business and go to the joe picker 2010 angle/line running thread.
And I'd be particularly concerned if the poor bloke listened to the likes of you.

really? why is that? I am a success story in love a guru if you will.

Post by **greeneyed** » February 3, 2010, 8:58 pm

Because your views are generally inane or ridiculous.

And I should add, they are mostly obviously deliberately inane and ridiculous. So give us a break and maybe contribute to actual discussion.

Off · Post by **Off** » February 3, 2010, 9:01 pm

greeneyed wrote:Because your views are generally inane or ridiculous.

So tell me what was rediculous in this thread ,I leave the rediculous for the RL boards where it is much more appropriate.

Grant · Post by **Grant** » February 3, 2010, 9:07 pm

Question has a habit of going against the grain in these forums, and he's telling you to get back with her. What does that tell you?

I have a rule when it comes to dating, also works with food as well. Don't double dip. You broke up the 1st time for a reason. Learn from it, accept it, and move on

Off · Post by **Off** » February 3, 2010, 9:09 pm

Green_wif_envy wrote:Question has a habit of going against the grain in these forums

from where i sit it speaks volumes.

After all i am the one with the runs on the board in romance it would seem.

yeh raiders · Post by **yeh raiders** » February 3, 2010, 10:59 pm

Hate people like that.... tell her where to stick the frozen eggs.

Rick · Post by **Rick** » February 3, 2010, 11:39 pm

2 things;

1. Dont put up with people talking about your family, there is a line just before that and she crossed it.

2. Love the way you left, very dramatic! Awesome.

julian87 · Post by **julian87** » February 4, 2010, 7:17 am

greeneyed wrote:Because your views are generally inane or ridiculous.

And I should add, they are mostly obviously deliberately inane and ridiculous. So give us a break and maybe contribute to actual discussion.

I actually think a lot of questions opinions, serious or not, add a lot to this forum which is way too often over run by a large number of people with the same forced opinion.

The Naked Zombie · Post by **The Naked Zombie** » February 4, 2010, 8:14 am

I'd go as far as to say that Q is the ladle that stirs the Greenhouse gumbo.

Michael · Post by **Michael** » February 4, 2010, 8:32 am

I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...

Captain Punish · Post by **Captain Punish** » February 4, 2010, 10:21 am

Michael wrote:I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...

Imagine the work involved to moderate that!!

lizzie · Post by **lizzie** » February 4, 2010, 11:50 am

Worm wrote:
Michael wrote:I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...
Imagine the work involved to moderate that!!

But I'm sure you'd only have lovely things to say.....

Captain Punish · Post by **Captain Punish** » February 4, 2010, 12:12 pm

lizzie wrote:
Worm wrote:
Michael wrote:I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...
Imagine the work involved to moderate that!!

But I'm sure you'd only have lovely things to say.....

Of course..

Nick · Post by **Nick** » February 4, 2010, 3:02 pm

First a few questions:

1. How long had you been together?
2. Why on earth were you going through her phone in the first place? That imo, is a massive No no.

A few points:

- Geez mate, it all seems a bit over the top, i've had women who have done far FAR worse than that to me and i've gone back. These kinds of arguements are normal but you dont get up and leave over it, you just deal with it and move on. Believe me dude, you've got off easy on this one

- Seriously what did you hope to gain from looking through her phone? Your in a relationship, things arent always rosey and when they arent, she's going to bitch to her friends about it, the reason she does this is to blow off steam, everyone does it, im sure you did to your mates on occasion you've had the **** at her and if you didnt, your probably in minority. I used to **** can my GF all the time to mates when she pissed me off, and she did the same to her friends, the thing is they were trival matters not worth making a big thing about so id vent to my mates and get on with life. It doesnt qualify as back stabbing, she probably just cracked it and needed to vent, but figured it wasnt worth making a arguement about it

- I serious think you've over reacted BIG time on the fridge issue, and you cant just walk out over a trival matter like that without discussing it. Communication is the key to relationships, if you dont have that, it wont work. If you were annoyed at her lying, talk to her calmly about it and explain you'd prefer she be honest in the future. End of the day its a fridge, you needed it, i can understand being proud and not wanting to accept charity but pride comes before the fall

- In relationships, there are white lies that get told, they are harmless and meaningless aimed simply life easier, and ti avoid hurting the other persons feelings. In this case, your partner probably knew you to be a proud man who would not accept charity but recognised the need for a fridge and figure the best way possible was to prentend she knew nothing about it. That is a normal lie to tell and at the end of the day, quite harmless and trival

- finally, thats what parents do, if you need something they buy it for you, and they generally dont accept no as an answer. They want to feel apart of your life and if helping out by buying a fridge is what they want to do, thats what they'll do and denying them this will only serve to upset them.

All in all mate, i think you need to figure out if you love her. If you do, make it work, you dont lose love over some trival nonsense like this.

dreaming09 · Post by **dreaming09** » February 4, 2010, 3:11 pm

Victor stop playing the victim, and be very thankful that you found this out now and not when you had more time and energy and assets invested in it.
Be greatful you don't have any kids with her, just think how bad your life would be then, she'd have you by your proverbials.
The alarm bells are ringing Victor, can you hear them, I say get all your furniture and *******run for your life.
Some people can't live without drama in their life, nice, nasty nice nasty, if you don't want to live like that get out, because she's in the nice stage now to keep you there.

Post by **dubby** » February 4, 2010, 3:13 pm

I think there is more involved than the fridge issue.

To me it sounds like these guys had troubles before all this started and their communication (or lack thereof) inflamed the situation.

Honesty. Trust. Grace. Respect.

Without them, you'll go nowhere.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » February 4, 2010, 3:14 pm

Michael wrote:I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...

im in!
Have i got some yarns to tell you lads!

Captain Punish · Post by **Captain Punish** » February 4, 2010, 3:44 pm

I must be an exception to the rule...

I have nothing but praise and many terms of endearment to say about my ex..

Lovely, lovely girl....

Michael · Post by **Michael** » February 4, 2010, 3:59 pm

Nick wrote:
Michael wrote:I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...
im in!
Have i got some yarns to tell you lads!

Did I tell you about the time I left a Uni Bar party to go home with this Finnish girl, it was about a 45 min walk to her joint, only for some douche in a WRX to come and pick her up and take her into town, leaving me with a hour-long walk back to my joint?

And that I retaliated my shagging her much, much uglier housemate, leaving the joke completely on me?

Nick · Post by **Nick** » February 4, 2010, 4:02 pm

Michael wrote:
Nick wrote:
Michael wrote:I think we should start a thread where we share stories about the various times we've been burned by girls - nothing like a bit of schadenfreude to chase the blues away...
im in!
Have i got some yarns to tell you lads!
Did I tell you about the time I left a Uni Bar party to go home with this Finnish girl, it was about a 45 min walk to her joint, only for some douche in a WRX to come and pick her up and take her into town, leaving me with a hour-long walk back to my joint? And that I retaliated my shagging her much, much uglier housemate, leaving the joke completely on me?

Oh my **** god... thats hilarious... what a **** in the WRX though!

Cock blocked by a twat in a WRX... good christ

I remember being younger and having a keen eye for a girl, i invited her and her best mate (a guy i swear was gay) around for a party i was having, anyways wanting to impress i brought up the local boozer and supplied free grog, we all got nicely toasted, i had her in my room, then she asked before we moved on if i could get her best mate so she could get him to pick her up in the morning... and hour later she comes out of MY room with him! And he took her home, to his place!

Rookie mistake

Stringer · Post by **Stringer** » February 4, 2010, 4:50 pm

Man, your brave posting up that with the likes who are hanging around on this website!!!
Good luck with getting things back on track.

julian87 · Post by **julian87** » February 4, 2010, 5:20 pm

Completely disagree that bitching about your partner is a perfectly acceptable thing.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » February 4, 2010, 5:31 pm

julian87 wrote:Completely disagree that bitching about your partner is a perfectly acceptable thing.

each to their own i guess
but i know from personal experience, ive not met a single successful couple who dont occasionally crack the **** and bitch about their partner in some sense... usually about trival **** like house duties, money spent at the pub/on clothes or hair, or nagging etc

as i said, if you dont, i would think your in an extremely small minority, and im tipping on a girls night out, your partner has probably heard ushering lines like "I love him but god he annoys me when he does/doesnt do _____"

and if she hasnt, congrats, you are a perfect couple, a very rare thing indeed.

julian87 · Post by **julian87** » February 4, 2010, 5:46 pm

Ha yeah the trivial things are ok. More serious things shouldn't be discussed in such a way though i reckon.

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