Woodgers wrote:Nah, can understand your logic Viking, I would have walked too.
Nick, it isn't just a minor thing, he looked at her phone and not only was she giving him ****, she was making up **** about him. There is no respect there. That is without even starting on the fact that she lied, gave him **** about his family (including insults about a Sister's miscarriage - who the fugg does that?) and generally tried a massive power play over a guy just trying to meet halfway in a relationship.
ps. I have absolutley no problem with the phone thing. The phone was open, he was curious, it paid off or he'd be still there being backstabbed. My wife had told me 1000 time she has no desire to cheat or be involved with other men. I believe her. Her phone was open once so I checked anyway. Why not sleep that 0.0001% better if you can? She has looked through my phone too....and said my friends talk too much sport
I agree there is excuse for her carry on about the family, particually the stuff about his sister, it takes a fairly ordinary person to do that kind of stuff imo.
The rest is absolute nonsense imo and completely trival in the general scheme of things? Who cares if the parents brought a fridge and she lied about her knowledge of that? Is that really a big issue? Not imo. She was probably trying to spare his pride.
Who cares if she told her friends you did **** all during the move in? She was probably pissed off, moving in is a stressful time, she was blowing off steam. Again, not something i consider to be a big issue.
The family stuff fine, if unprovoked and she launched into that sort of triade, fine, thats a perfectly good reason not to go back, thats pretty ordinary form. But everything else is a normal every day fight for couples.
As for the phone, ive found when i trust partners, i dont have to worry about sleeping that 0.00001% better. I dont have a single doubt in the world and i dont need to check their phone to confirm that. Its my opinion anyone riffling through their partners phone to make sure there is no evidence of foul play has trust issues, even on a minor scale. Ive never lost a second of sleep due to wondering if my partner is cheating on me, and i didnt need to go through phone to gain that comfort. If you or others do, fine and dandy, each to their own, but i wont cop it, its an invasion of my privacy.
I've never had reason to mistrust any of my partners and i've never been concerned one bit about the prospect of them cheating on me, so i never bothered checking the phone. If i felt the need to check her phone, i'd leave because it would be a clear case of me not trusting them. My partners have been through my phone, and they've never found anything because there isnt anything to find. Its not about what you find or dont find, its about trust. You either have it, or you dont.
In this instance clearly neither of them really trusted each other, so i dont think moving in together was a great idea, and they are probably better off apart if trival **** like a fridge can create such a rift between them.
I wonder mate, If your partner had one, would you read her diary? And would you let her read yours? It all comes down to privacy and trust. I dont care how long you've been together, you deserve your own privacy, and in this case, if as in your case, you're married and live together, or his case, just moved in, i would expect there to be enough trust not to have to resort to going through peoples phones.
I dont buy the backstabbing claim either, im not privvy to what was said about him, but i assume it was the usual stuff women bitch and moan about when they have the ****, if it was more serious stuff fine but if it was stuff eg house work, pub money, etc, that sort of remedial stuff, complaining to friends or family about that isnt back stabbing, its blowing off steam.